Sometimes I just can’t sleep, and it sucks. Tonight Corey and I went to sleep quite late (for parents), after 11pm. Alexis woke us up around 12:30. She had a quick feed (just one side) and was back to sleep not long after 1am. It’s now 3:30am. I am still awake. I don’t want to be. It’s very annoying.

There are numerous theories as to why I sometimes just don’t sleep. It could be genetic, hormonal, the fact that I don’t get enough exercise, or something I’ve eaten that triggers some biochemical thing. Some people have suggested I just might not need much sleep (some don’t), but then why do I bomb out for hours on end other days? Some say that it’s common for mothers of babies to experience this because our bodies get so used to not sleeping enough that we adjust to not sleeping and then when bub sleeps well our body clock doesn’t know how to cope. This is plausible, considering Alexis has been quite nocto-bub-like lately. The breastfeeding factor has a lot to do with it too. Sleeping with full boobs isn’t comfy.

The fact remains that I’ve only had an hour, maybe an hour and a half’s sleep. I don’t feel tired as such but I know that I am because I have a headache and a churning tummy which is so characteristic of me being overtired. Another clue is the long rambly nonsensical post about stuff I would not normally talk about. There’s also the “buzzzz” in my right ear. Plus you don’t have to be a brain surgeon to know that the vast majority of adults require more than an hour’s sleep. Wow a whole long-winded post about sleep, or lack thereof. How boring of me. Let me try to redeem this post. What have I done the last three hours?

I lay in bed for what felt like an eternity. I tried shedding layers in case I was hot. I tried lying this way, that way, this way, that way… I was disturbing Corey, I think. He was still asleep but he was sighing and tossing and turning, so I left. I went to the toilet, had a drink of water, and tried to sleep again. There’s a full moon or someone has left their light on, either way it was really bright and annoying. Corey’s snoring was cute. Still couldn’t sleep. I read some bible passages on my phone. Exodus usually tires me. This morning I found it interesting, which is good, but bad for me at this point in time. I tried sleep again anyway. No luck, of course.

I then realised the boob-factor. I had only fed off the left side. So I decided to express. Now, those who have followed my blog for a while know I don’t like expressing (does anyone?), and try to avoid it. It’s noisy, messy, and quite frankly makes me feel like a cow being milked. Plus I suck at it. Alexis will now tolerate formula if she’s desperate for a milk drink when I duck out for a few hours (which is so rare anyway) as long as she’s with someone she’s really comfortable with, so I haven’t actually expressed since October. I thought though that it might be nice to get her babysat for a decent length of time for a valentines day treat for my hubby. Usually we just start to unwind before it’s time to pick Alexis up, so, having a few extra bottles (and groveling nicely to Alexis’ grandparents) might buy us some extra time. She normally will only substitute for formula once without getting distressed, and if she misses me then a nice bottle of my milk comforts her long enough for her temporary carer to convince her to nap, or calm down at least. I gave the pump a whiff to smell if it was still good to use. Didn’t notice any problems so gave it a go. I’m so out of practice that after half an hour I got a measly 40ml and gave up discouraged. It’s in the freezer with “heat up really well” on it, in case there were any nasty microorganisms in the pump.

After that I had an other drink of water and tried to go to sleep again. A few more groans from Corey and I decided to just give up on sleep as a bad joke. I was stressing myself out so decided to forget about it and try again later. Not sure how blogging about it for half an hour was supposed to be forgetting about it. Hmmm. I might read a book after this. Or maybe type up some of my poems on my “bits and pieces blog” which has been incredibly neglected. ( Edit 13/8/11 I have merged my blogs so now my creative writing is also in this blog instead of the separate blog . I will probably crash when the sun comes up, I just hope Alexis doesn’t need me then. Knowing my luck she will though. She’s been getting up about 5 every day for a while now. It’s Saturday though, so Corey will be able to cover for me today while I have a nap if I need to right? Actually previous experience has taught me that relying on the possibility of a day nap is not such a good idea either, but hey, what else can I do? I don’t see the point in lying there torturing myself with “you’re a mum now you have to be responsible you have to SLEEP stupid”.