Sometimes being a stay at home mum really IS just fun and games. Sometimes it is so amazing that you can hardly remember life BC (before children). There are moments when you wish you could stop time and enjoy this little angel being just like this, forever. I just had one of those moments, pulling myself together to write this, because I want to share the magic with you.
I have yet to find any experience in this world more peaceful and regenerating than cuddling a sleeping baby. Their vulnerable little bodies are so at rest in your arms. They are so trusting. They make the worries of life fade away, even if just for a little while. Babies are warm, soft, smooth. Even their snores are adorable. They almost always smell lovely, as long as they don’t need a change. Their whole body moves up and down with every breath. It is almost impossible to be uptight while holding a sleeping infant. Those of you fortunate enough to have your own children can hopefully agree with me when I say when it’s your own kid it’s even better.
As I write this I am laying in bed on my side. Alexis is facing me with her head on my arm, her arms on my chest and her knees slightly resting on my belly. She is curled up like a frog, like she used to do when her age was measured in days instead of months. Every now and then she stirs, looks up at me with those big blue eyes, and settles back to sleep. I don’t do this often. Alexis usually naps in her cot while I race around the house trying to keep up with housework. Today I was tired and trying to have a nap when she woke. I knew she was still tired so I brought her in with me. I gave her a quick (literally 30 second) feed before she fell asleep. I haven’t been able to sleep, I was just enjoying the moment.
There were many thoughts going through my mind, as they do when we have moments like this. One: “I made this girl”, with Corey’s help of course. Alexis is a little mixture of both of us. I can’t explain how much that thought just blows me away. God performs a miracle each time a child is conceived, I really believe that. Two: how awesome is breastfeeding, seriously. I know it just doesn’t work for some ladies and babies and that is so unfortunate, because seriously, when it works it is magical. I can nourish a human being with my body, with minimal effort. I cannot explain how cool that is. Three: I feel loved and I feel so in love with my child. I feel so much love that I feel like I’m going to explode. Four: I feel alive. So lucky just to be alive and able to feel this. Five: I feel so blessed to have this child, precious gift from God.