OK, so if you’ve read any of my posts lately you’ll know I haven’t been feeling so great. Food and my digestive system have been declaring war on each other. I suspect the war is funded by the small
gremlin little cherub occupying my whole freaking body womb. I love him dearly, but if he expects me to carry him inside for at least 3 more weeks then he had better shift over and make some room for food!
I am the sort of person who really needs food. I’ve never been a skinny person or a dieter, but I’ve never been massively huge either, I hope. Food and I normally get along pretty well. I like eating food, food is made to be eaten, it’s a match made in heaven. I can normally put away about the same as any man and not pay for it too badly later. Normally. Yet lately a drastic chain of events has occurred.
A brief but powerful bout of gastro illness was closely followed by my womb monkey growing in size. Now I know I should have expelled all the nasties by now but my gut hasn’t caught up with that. It seems my stomach capacity has shrunken to minuscule proportions, and the parts of the digestive system that clear food from ones body seem to be stuck at warp speed. Add to this my gorgeous but terrifying womb monkey thrashing around like the walls are caving in if I dare to eat anything so big as a grape, and you can see that this tired mumma is close to wit’s end.
I still crave food. I long for it. I yearn for it. I know it will cause me pain but I must eat it, because without eating it I cannot function, cannot support this human life inside me, and
turn into a heinous bitch cannot interact with the human race. So food and I have continued to see each other. Unfortunately, our encounters of late have been fleeting at best. The meaningless, shallow encounters have done little more than leave me feeling dirty and used and a little bit sore. I keep foolishly hoping for the moment food realises I am friend not foe and our relationship can be a happy one of nourishment and fulfillment once again.
My husband is a good friend of food, so we thought he might mediate our gathering at a nice peaceful restaurant. My husband ordered a nice big helping of food. I did not know where I stood with regards to food, so I ordered something modest.
My husband ordered this