He sleeps better when my breasts aren’t home

William *middle name* *surname*, midnight is not an appropriate time to cluster feed. While we’re at it buddy, you’re thirteen months old now, you don’t really need to be cluster feeding at all. I love you and I love giving you mummy milk but you have to take it easier on me. Seriously.

My last post described William struggling with croup. It’s hard for me to remember he was unwell a few days ago. He’s been on some pretty incredible medication which meant apart from a bit of snot he’s been pretty happy and adventurous. He actually slept through the night Tuesday and Wednesday night but he cluster fed from 7pm until nearly 10pm first.

I don’t mind staying up later if it means that once my head does hit the pillow I can leave it there until the sun comes up. Corey feels differently, which is unsurprising considering it is me who is currently sitting up with William while Corey is sweetly in the land of nod. He wants William to bed earlier so we can have time as a couple before we go to sleep without staying up too late. I agree, that’s the ideal.

William has himself in a habit of staying up late. Alexis, who I do not allow to nap during the day, sleeps from 7:30 ish until 6:30 ish. She’s cranky in the afternoon but if she has a nap she’s still awake at 10pm and then rises with the sun. It’s better for everyone if Alexis doesn’t nap during the day, however with William fighting the eyelids at night and Alexis prying our eyelids open in the morning it gets a bit much.

On Wednesday night Corey mentioned that William goes to bed early without a fuss on the nights when my breasts and I are not home. Interesting that. It makes sense. There’s no point William fussing and trying to guilt trip Corey for milk when he knows he won’t give it to him.

So Thursday night saw me late night shopping all by myself. After our normal dinner and bath routine and a quick feed I waved goodbye to William (Alexis was already asleep) and drove off. I hunted some craft supplies for playgroup, looked for a mattress protector for a king single bed but had no luck and bought a present for my friend’s kitchen tea. It was quite pleasant really.

I then got to go bra shopping all by myself. It was infinitely easier and more enjoyable than the time I tried to go bra shopping with two kids in the trolley. Never do that, especially if one of those children is a booby fiend. It’s nice to know that I’ve lost enough weight to need new clothes, it’s a nice reward for all my hard work. Trying on togs was slightly depressing though. It’s such a shame that when losing weight the fat deposits that disappear first are the ones I wouldn’t mind keeping. All in all a successful outing except for a one-piece swimsuit which I have already decided needs to go back (so impractical, what was I thinking?) and a nighty that fell apart in my hands as soon as I got home. So disappointing!

It doesn’t matter though because buying things, although not at all unpleasant, was not the reason for my outing. The aim was to see if William went to bed easily in my absence. He did. He went to bed at 8:10 or so, just a few minutes after I left. Yay William and yay Corey. When I returned we congratulated ourselves for being so clever and started scheming nights of me waving goodbye and driving off to McDonald’s to study while Corey put William to bed. I really loved that idea.

There’s a spanner in the works though. William woke at midnight and has not let me put him down since. Corey’s resolve once woken from slumber is pretty negligible, so he didn’t run with my suggestion of “don’t tell him I’m home” in the first place. Corey was happy to get up to William and change his nappy but then it’s all up to me from there.

This kid is playing me. His eyes and hands and vocal affectations say it all. “Mummy you left me, how DARE you. How dare you leave the house without me. Daddy wouldn’t give me milk and he wouldn’t even put Gilmore Girls on for me.” William has a thing for Lauren Graham (who doesn’t?). “You ruined my night. So feed me slave and don’t you dare put me down or I’ll scream and wake Alexis. Savvy?” Or perhaps he’s saying, “mummy you’re back! I missed you! I love you so much! Hold me!” I never can tell the difference but I have a sneaking suspicion it was the former. Either way I’ve been up for two hours and I don’t care for it.

I really hope William isn’t getting sick again. The way him and his sister share everything I wouldn’t be surprised. He doesn’t seem sick though. At least he is breathing tonight. Breathing is good. He’s probably just trying to convince me to turf Corey out of the queen bed and take him in with me. Not happening William. I would rather share a bed with your daddy, he snores less and takes up less room. Oh the irony.

Did you breastfeed into the second year? Did your kids still cluster feed? Is there a biological basis for it or is it likely that William is playing me? Is there a non-surgical way to get fat to magically disappear from my thighs and reappear somewhere more appealing?