Me and YOU Monday – week 5 – from head to heart

Welcome to week five of Me and YOU Monday. I’m sorry it’s actually Sunday night, but it’s after 11pm, I want to go to bed, and I don’t want to wake up early to post this but if I don’t post before Alexis wakes up it’s not likely to go up before 10am, so in the interest of our morning readers getting to have a looksie, it’s going up now :).

If you aren’t familiar with how Me and YOU Monday works, each week for the last five weeks I have posted about a specific goal I’ve wanted to achieve for myself throughout the week and then summarised how I went in the next week’s post. I then said whether I had achieved my goal or whether I needed to continue. A few brave ladies have joined in with me and added links to their posts on their blogs using the linky at the bottom of the page. You can join in playing if you like, there’s just a few simple ‘rules’ down the bottom of the post.

For those playing along with your own goals (whether publicly or privately) I hope you are doing well and seeing improvement. Even if you think you haven’t done well, don’t get discouraged, because you haven’t failed you just might not have finished yet. Well that’s how I’m feeling anyway. I’ve posted goals that have been very real, very important, and very difficult. I did this deliberately, because they’ve been areas of my life that I’ve really wanted to change and I thought keeping myself accountable on such a massive scale would be a good way to motivate myself to change. I have made good progress with all my goals but I can’t say that any of them are done and dusted. All my goals were to change bad habits slowly formed over a life-time. It will take a long time to ever say I’m “done” working on those areas, but, although I still slip up at times, I am noticing great progress, and I’m allowing myself to be happy with that. If you are wondering what my goals were, they were:
week 1: To tame my inner stress monster
Week 2: To persevere with stress management techniques
Week 3: To tame my tongue (stop swearing)
Week 4: To control how I speak to people (try to be nicer in general)and try not to let my B.I.T.C.H.I.N.E.S.S. ruin our lives.

So over the last week I’ve worked really hard at watching what I say and why I say it. I’ve said the wrong things and spoken harshly at times but I’ve worked hard to think about why and to apologise as quickly as possible. I’ve realised I spack out when I’m feeling stressed, exhausted, overwhelmed, useless, hard done by, or jealous. So instead of condemning myself (which is useless and achieves nothing) I’ve had sub goals of getting a bit more me time and asking for help. These have been great, because when I’m feeling better about myself I am generally nicer to those around me. Corey has been great, helping me lots with Alexis and around the house. I haven’t been feeling well due to my body adjusting to the iron tablets and their horrible side effects. We’ve had some dramas with Alexis’ sleeping habits (just for something different) which haven’t helped either. That said though, admitting we don’t know what to do but trying to support eachother the best we can has been great for us as a couple. I’ve also consciously tried to focus on and praise Corey for the good things he does and the things I admire in him and to not draw attention to the little things that irritate me. We also have been freeing up time for Corey, Alexis and I to just play as a family and relax. These changes have helped heaps, and are habits I want to continue for the rest of my life. When my days are about nappy changes and food and sleep schedules, it’s so easy to get caught up on the negative, but I love taking time out to appreciate our little family and just hang out.

I had a post planned about prioritising keeping the main bedroom clean and tidy (by keeping Alexis out) but I’m not sure if I really want to keep her out of our room or not just yet. I’ve nutted out a few drafts about starting self-settling and stricter bedtimes with Alexis, but I’m not sure if I’m ready to go there just yet either. I know we have time restraints, with not an awful amount of weeks until Wormy’s due, but I’m still uneasy about the idea and I don’t want to make a goal that I am not convinced I want to keep. So, in short, my goal for this week is to persevere with my previous goals of not stressing, not swearing, and treating others well. I want to try to change, not out of stubborn willpower or obligation, but I want to internalise the changes, to allow God to change my heart. I don’t want to enforce a set of rules on myself but instead be transformed in the way I think and feel and thus act and react so that instead of instinctively having a habit of stressing I have a habit of trusting God, so that instead of swearing and cutting others down with my words I have a habit of speaking positively and truthfully and nicely. I want to see others as God sees them (valuable, worthy, loved, precious) and to do that I need to see myself as God sees me (yes, I am those things too, in His eyes).

I hope I have not made you uncomfortable by getting spiritual here, but I think it’s about time I openly admit that I cannot do these things in my own strength. They are incredibly important so I’m not going to skip over them. I’m going to openly put myself out there and say I’m trusting God to come through with this. I promise to be real next week and not sugar coat anything or be misleading. This is kind of petrifying for me but I trust God to work wonders in me. He’s already started after all, so the best thing I can do is step out of the way and let him work. If this confuses you, don’t worry, I’ll try to explain more next week.

Anyway I’ve rambled long enough. Would you like to join in Me and YOU Monday? Your goal can be anything at all: playing more, doing the dishes, not yelling, not staying up too late, not having that extra coffee, whatever you like. Nothing is too small, and if it seems huge break it into smaller bits. If you would like to add your link, then here’s the “rules” again:
– Please don’t just use this to promote your blog. It’s better if you actually want to change (or want to WANT to change)
– Please visit again the next week to let us know how you go. If you want to keep playing the week after write a post about a new goal or commit to continue persevering with the existing goal. When you don’t want to play anymore that’s fine, let us know how you went but don’t add a new goal.
– Please visit at least one other persons site (assuming people play along) and leave an encouraging comment. It would be great if you could pray for them or think positively for them at least once during the week.
– Please do not make fun of anyone in the link up (this goes without saying though really).
– A link to this post would be awesome but is not compulsory

Good luck and thanks for your support