In case the title didn’t give it away this is a too much information post about excrement.
Sometimes when William wakes in the middle of the night I wake my husband to change William’s nappy while I go to the bathroom and get ready to feed. Sometimes I decide not to wake Corey and just make William wait for me. William is never a patient waiter but seeing as Alexis sleeps so deeply I don’t really mind letting him have a bit of a strop if it means Corey gets a good sleep.
Occasionally there’s nights when I really should have woken hubby from the start. This was one of those.
William woke me crying at 3am. I rolled over to double check that Corey still wasn’t in bed beside me. I remembered he had snuck out not long after I’d fallen asleep. He still wasn’t there. I picked up my phone to call him to wake him and ask him to change William but I noticed an email had come through. “can’t sleep so went to other room so didn’t disturb you.”
He might have done it as a courtesy but I read it as “can’t sleep. Please don’t wake me up in less you really need me coz I’m planning a late night of shooting down virtual aeroplanes.” I don’t mind this kind of email because Corey sometimes gets one “had a rough night with William, please get up to Lexi in the morning” which means “I’ve been blogging since 3am and now the sun has come up I’m tired. Please have mercy on me”. We understand each other.
So I put the phone down and let William wait while I did the whole bathroom, jacket, drink of water thing. Went to William, picked him up and gave him a huge cuddle. Popped him down on the change table to change his nappy.
Lots and lots of stinky disgusting poo. I’ll spare you a picture. It really really wasn’t pretty.
I wiped him, took off his onesie and with him on my hip took it to the laundry for soaking in the nappy bucket. I’m really surprised Corey and Alexis slept through it as they were in rooms just next to the laundry. I chose some new pyjamas for William and thought I’d better check his sheets. Yep. Poo.
I then had to wake Corey.
So instead of getting his usual “hi hun can you please change William while I pee” he got, “hey, William pooed everywhere. I cleaned him up and soaked his onesie but I need help now. Sorry. We need to change his sheets and I HAVE to go scrub my hands.” Beautiful sweet Corey said, “ok”.
He stripped off William’s cot sheet and went to put a new one on. I had already got one out of William’s top drawer. “Hang on, I think we need to change the mattress protector,” I interjected. “I can’t see anything,” he said, “my eyes haven’t adjusted yet.” I had a look and said, “yeah it needs changing.”
He ripped it off and said “where should I put this?” “In the nappy bucket in the laundry sink please.” When he came back I asked him to dress William while I looked for the spare mattress protector. “Not on the changeable,” I quickly remembered to warn him, “it’s covered in poo too.”
I topped up the nappy bucket and tore the linen cupboard to shreds looking for the cot mattress protector. I found a few bassinet ones and pulled them out ready to pack away. I really needed to wash my hands again… I went and washed my hands again (no I’m not OCD), grabbed myself a biscuit and gave William one to keep him happy while I took him with me to look for sheets. Corey came over, saw the bassinet mattress protectors at my feet, “here it is!” “They’re bassinet ones,” I said, “I’m not stupid.” “Don’t call me stupid.” “I wasn’t. But if I had pulled it out and kept looking for it I would be stupid.”
I asked Corey to clean up William’s change table mattress, “spray it with disinfectant and wipe it down please.. But not in his room, chemicals..”
I finally found the mattress protector and took William and I back to his room. I wished I had let Corey spray the disinfectant in there. Would have been an improvement on the lingering smell of a 3am bowel explosion… I ducked up to my room for some air fresher. Chemicals are everywhere in everything. I wasn’t smelling poo while feeding. I then grabbed a clean blanket for William. No point changing the sheets and mattress protector without changing the blanket.
William looked so distressed by this stage. He wasn’t crying though just looked worried. “That was really funny William, don’t worry,” I said. “Yeah, great job mate,” said Corey as he clapped his hands. William beamed with pride and clapped his hands before settling in for a feed.
Corey made the cot and said goodnight. “Can you please get me some socks?” I asked. So he got me socks and even put them on me. My hands were busy with William. He was feeding well, I didn’t want to disturb him. “Thanks hun. I’m really thirsty.” So Corey got me a glass of water and took it away again before toddling off to bed.
It took me a while to convince William it was in fact time to go back to sleep after all that excitement. An email came through, a discount offer, one night hotel stay and dinner for a good price. I wonder if Corey would like to get it so we can go away for our anniversary. I forwarded it to him.
I wonder if we could get someone to babysit the kids overnight. It’s not like they’re very hard to look after is it? It’s not for a few months, William might even be sleeping through by then. Hehe.
I’m picturing my parents up dealing with a poo explosion at 3am. Is it wrong that I’ve got a Cheshire cat smile and audibly giggling at this? Just keep him away from Alexis’ chocolate sandwich and you’ll be fine.