FOUND IN DRAFTS. I wrote this towards the end of my pregnancy but never did post it. Maybe because bubby came a little early. Or maybe I was just slack. I don’t know!
I’m trying really hard to stay positive at the moment but it seems the harder I try the more likely I am to collapse in a heap in a pile of tears.
This late stage of pregnancy is a real challenge.
This pregnancy in particular is my most challenging because of so many factors. In so many ways it’s the easiest but I think emotionally it’s the hardest.
Two young kids
The most obvious difference is that I already have two young children to look after. I deal with this by relying on family and friends and daycare. I have a good support system in place and Corey pulls his weight excellently around the house and with the kids the vast majority of the time. So it’s not really an excuse to be so wiped out, except that it is.
Third time round
I’ve had two pregnancies and two natural births before. Needless to say the old pelvic floor isn’t as strong as it used to be. Enough said.
Yes you read that right. I had easy labours with my first two pregnancies. This scares the crap out of me. William’s labour was only really two hours long. I only just made it to hospital. So I’m trying not to jump with every little cramp and twinge.. “Is this labour?”
I actually ended up in the hospital on Wednesday night thinking we were go for launch to be told after hours of tests, “no honey, you’re nowhere near ready, go home.” How embarrassing.
Although when I had called them they had told me to come in because
this time could be different
Every pregnancy is different. Every labour is different. I’m carrying this baby in a completely different way to the first and second pregnancies, which were also completely different to eachother. So there’s no real clue what to expect… Other than pain…
I know too much
I know that however dodgy I’m feeling now, it’s just gonna get worse once bubby is a few weeks old. Having had epic PND before, I’m not exactly looking forward to the prospect of it happening again. I can I only hope to avoid it or to at least manage it well due to the skills I have learned since William was born.
Every baby is different
This could be a good thing or this could be a bad thing. Probably it’ll just be a neutral thing but however it turns out, I know some things that worked for the other two won’t work this time. I also hope that this baby sleeps well. Hey I can dream, right?