I remember writing this but for whatever reason I never posted it. I think the reason why I never posted it is because my son William was born the next day(?). Perhaps this was nesting in the digital age? The fact that William is 6 months old says something about my drafts folder doesn’t it?
Over the last few days I've been cleaning out my emails. Today I did my hotmail inbox and I deleted 274 PAGES of emails. It was fun going through the titles remembering life before children.
As I went through I realised I had emails from before Alexis was born, from before I was pregnant, from before Corey and I married, from before I started work, from before I finished uni, from before my sister's wedding, from before I was baptised, from before I got engaged, from when I used to help the Sunday school at our old church, from when I was in the Christmas carols at our old church, from planning my (then) best friend's hens party, from "how on earth am I going to pass chemistry". 5.5 years were contained in that inbox. Five and a half years.
I felt uneasy deleting them. They were personal emails from friends and I'd obviously kept them for a reason. A few of them I read before deleting. It was nice to look back but it was time to let them go. I'd come to far to turn back now, I moved a few very special ones to a separate folder but I wanted a clear inbox.
The saddest part is that I don't keep in contact with most of those people anymore. All those people I poured out my heart's deepest secrets to aren't a big part of my life anymore. Some people I haven't heard from since uni, some kept in contact as long as possible but most drifted away. Some still "like" a photo on Facebook ever so often but it's not quite the same is it?
Saying goodbye to five and a half years of history is odd. Farewell laughs, tears, frustrations and fears. Sayonara seasonal friends. Thank you for the role you played in my life. Even though I don't see you so much any more I still appreciate the time we had. I remember the advice (even the stuff I ignored), I remember the fun, I remember that you had a big impact on me.
Whether you were a uni friend or a church friend or a student life friend, thanks for the times we had together and the emails you wrote. Thanks to those who dealt with my angst (which I had a fair amount of at times) and for the 'congratulations' emails and the 'how u doin' emails and the invites and the fun we had in person too.
It was great to look back but I'm never going to let my inbox build up like that again. From now on I'm going to keep on top of them. Read it, reply, delete it or move it.
That's the plan. Ask me in another 5.5 years.
How bad is your email inbox?