It's less than a month until Alexis turns two. I can hardly believe it at times and yet sometimes she seems so much older. She is tall, solid, and very clever. Whether I believe it or not though, her second birthday is nearly here.
I haven't planned her a party. Does that make me a terrible mother?
At this particular moment (while I'm sick with yet another cold and her brother has gone to sleep for the first time all day after being up most of the night and she is normally asleep but she is refusing to just because she can clearly see how exhausted I am and how much I need a nap) I'd be lying if I said I wasn't just the slightest bit cross with her. This isn't why though.
For one thing we've only just confirmed that Corey will actually be home for her birthday. Secondly William is only 4 months old so I've had my hands full and my mind on other things. Thirdly my husband is transitioning to monthly pay just in time for her birthday and we've never had to really budget before so we're being a bit scabby until we know what to expect. The fourth reason is, well, the weather is weird. It's either raining or boiling hot. So where would we have it? The fifth reason is, well, she's only two. If we have a massive party now we will have trouble keeping up the high standard in the future.
Last year we had two parties, one for her little friends at my sister's work and one for family at home. They were both wonderful on the day but both had hiccups and stress. I'm not sure if I could handle throwing a party with a 4 month old on my hip, although at least I don't have morning sickness this year like I did last year and at least this year the guest of honour is less likely to be overwhelmed by the amount of people and want to spend the whole time being breastfeed in another room.
I want to do something special for her but I'm just not sure where or what. To be honest I'd rather just have a special outing just the four of us but I don't want her to look back when she's older and ask why we didn't throw her a party. Plus there's the issue of family and friends expecting there will be a party. I had to rely heavily on family to organise and set up and cook etc last year and considering I can never get both kids to sleep at the same time I doubt this year will be any different. Is it totally bad form to say, "if you want her to have a party can you do it?"
I'm the sort of person who doesn't want to do something if I don't think I can do it right. I would rearrange the house if I could, and decorate and bake and cook and clean and plan fun games. I would love to but realistically I know I don't have the time. I'm barely keeping up with washing clothes and dishes. I don't want Alexis to miss out on things just because of her little brother but her refusing to go down for a day sleep without a major meltdown every single day and her keeping herself up late every single night are the main reasons I don't want to undertake such a big project.
Is it ok just to take a cake to playgroup and have the family around for a BBQ? It's not like she's going to remember it. Why do I feel like a terrible mum for feeling like this? Don't parents have enough to deal with without fear of being judged on a party or lack thereof.
Did your kids have parties for their second birthdays? What did you do?