New Years Eve. It’s 8 pm. Alexis is asleep and I feel like following suit. Is that a bad thing? Do I want to start the new year sleep deprived? It has been a big day. I am allowed to be tired. It has been a big week too. Actually it has been a big year for me come to think of it.
2010 has been a year of change for me. I went on maternity leave, had a baby, moved house, and resigned. I don’t think I’ve ever had a more challenging year in terms of learning new skills and forming new relationships. Giving up skills and relationships has been equally challenging too.
Physical changes happened as well. I have been poked, prodded, torn, pooped on, peed on, spewed on, and chewed on. I have gone days without sleep. I have gone weeks with very little sleep. I have been bombarded with hormones. I have had aching back and shoulders from days when Alexis hasn’t let me put her down.
I lost my independence and own identity for a while there. I have given up time, money, and freedom. I have given a lot, but I have been given so much more.
I have been given cuddles, kisses, appreciative looks, giggles, laughs, smooches and caresses. I have been given love, joy, affection, and trust. I have been given time to develop patience and responsibility.
This year I have learned many lessons. I have learned that not all change is bad. I have learned that it’s OK to ask for help and that it’s good to accept help. I have learned that it is OK to just survive at times. I have learned that my God, my husband, my daughter, most of my family and some of my friends love me very much. (Please don’t drive yourself nuts guessing if you’re included in the ‘most’ or ‘some’, if you do love me then we will both know that). I have learned that I am stronger than I thought. I have learned that there is still so much I need to work on, and that this is a good thing.
So I don’t really care what 2011 throws at me because I will not have to face it alone. If I could choose, I would like a good, peaceful year, where we grow individually and as a family. I would like to be more organised, more efficient, and a bit more stable! Mainly I want to master what I think about and what comes out of my mouth. This has been my goal every year but this upcoming year it is more important than ever. As of midnight Corey and I start some modified form of swear jar. More info on that to come! If you are willing, I would appreciate your prayers!
If you would like to share your goals for 2011 or your memories from 2010 why not post them in a comment. I’m always happy to pray for you.
Now it’s 9 pm and I’m still trying to get Alexis back to sleep from when she woke up 10 minutes after I started writing this. Maybe I’ll make midnight after all.